


Hanging On Your Words

by Talullah



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:04:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2180742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/pseuds/Talullah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts innocently...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanging On Your Words

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to erfan_starled for the beta. All remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> Written for spn_j2_xmas, for beckaandzac from whose request I picked Jensen/Danneel/Jared, Jensen/Danneel pegging fic, J2 fic about how Jared bribes Jensen to wear his glasses more often.
> 
> [Disclaimer/Blanket Statement](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/profile)

Jensen sees the orange flash from the corner of his eye and looks up from the script just in time to see Jared running from the porch to the untended barbecue. He tries not to laugh as Jared frantically tries to put the fire out. He should help before the neighbors called the fire department... Putting the lid on the fire would take care of it in no time, but the evil part of him enjoys the show too much and Jared deserves it - he had just spent over half an hour on the phone.

Jensen is about to get up when a bit of flying ash enters his eye. In sheer reflex, he blinks it away but the damn thing is really hurting. He knows rubbing is a huge mistake but his hands fly to his face without thinking.

"Aww, shit!" he yells when the ash gets under his contact. Feels like sand. No, like a goddamned boulder. Jensen tries to run to the house but he trips on the deck and when he finally gets to the kitchen, he's pretty sure he's turning blind.

He doesn't even try for the bathroom. The sink is right there, and there's nothing wrong with a little water instead of solution now and then. He manages to get the contact off but it falls to the sink. Blinking in relief, he doesn't think twice before turning the water on to wash his eye.

"Oh God, no!" Jensen says, mentally punching himself as the contact goes down the drain.

Jared walks into the kitchen. "What's up, man? What bit you?"

Jensen squints at him, ready to let him have it but although Jared is looking a little blurred, his puppy look shines through and after a deep breath, Jensen decides he was to blame too, for his clumsiness.

"Lost my contact, that's all," he says, his left eye blinking furiously.

"Oh good! So now you'll wear your glasses!"

Jared actually claps his hands with glee, making Jensen blink again, this time perplexed.

"Dude, I swear I don't get this fixation you have with my glasses."

"You look cute in them."

"Do you even know what that sounds like?"

Jared frowns, pretending he's thinking. "Mmm, that I have a crush on you? Well, maybe I have." Jared wiggles his eyebrows, bringing an unwitting smile to Jensen's lips.

"What's this I hear about a crush?" Danneel asks coming through the kitchen door. "And where's my steak?" She yawns and pokes a finger in Jared's ribs. "Shouldn't you be providing us dinner?"

"Your clumsy boyfriend tried to burn his eye out," Jared accuses, sticking his tongue out.

"Aww, baby." Danneel says to Jensen, passing an arm around his waist. "Well, look on the bright side, now you'll have to wear your glasses. You look so sexy in them."

"That's what I keep telling him," Jared says.

Danneel's smile couldn't be more malicious if she tried. "Really? You find Jensen sexy? Who would have thought?"

"Errm, well, I'd better tend to the barbecue before another disaster happens," Jared says so fast he swallows a couple of words.

Jensen looks at the door, then at Danneel. "What's gotten into him?"

Danneel laughs. "Nothing. Leave it alone. I had a great nap," she says yawning. "Did you like the script?"

"Sorta. Danni, I know you mean well but I can only take stuff my agent gives me to read and besides this is another romantic comedy..."

"Okay, I know what you mean, but will you think about it?"

Jensen looks down at her pleading little smile and kisses the top of her head. "Okay."

* * *

They eat their charred steaks out in the back yard, warm clothes and wine warding the night chill off. The sky is starry, a couple of late crickets still sing, and the air is brisk, refreshing despite the hint of smoke. They've done this every other weekend since Jensen moved into Jared's house, and Jensen loves every minute of it, his girl and his best friend, the bantering, the food, despite the mishaps. Life is good, even if he can't really see his food.

"Hey, man, stop squinting and put the glasses on already," Jared says.

"I'd rather have blurry steak than foggy steak," Jensen replies. The food is not so hot that it will steam his glasses but he really hates eating with them on. Danneel and Jared make a few jokes at the expense of his vanity, but Jensen pays them no mind.

They finish and Jared clears the table, returning with another bottle of wine. They sit and talk for a long while. It's late when Danneel finally takes Jensen's hand and pulls him inside, to bed.

Jared is left sitting gazing at the stars, Hayley warming his feet and Sadie has her head on his lap. For a moment, Jensen looks back at his friend, his heart breaking a little at how lonely Jared looks.

* * *

"Hey, baby, it was nice, wasn't it?" Jensen asks, once he's inside the room. He reaches out to help Danneel out of her shirt.

"It was," she says. There's something off in her tone.

"Are you tired?" Jensen asks. He wants to give her space but his body has a will of its own and he's glued to her back, his hands run up and down her sides.

"A little," she says, escaping his grip. She turns around and takes off the rest of her clothes, just a hint of stripper moves to make it spicy. "Come here," she says kneeling on the bed. "You have a lot to make up for tonight."

Jensen pushes his jeans off and crawls over the mattress till he's right up close to her. "Make up for what?"

"For being distracted. Jared's paid me more attention than you," she says, half teasing. "I bet he'd make a wonderful boyfriend."

Jensen kisses her neck just the way she likes it, and slips a hand between her legs. "Are you thinking of upgrading?"

"I might..."

He can hear the amusement in her voice but he doesn't get it. He doesn't try to pursue it either. She pushes him down till he's lying on his back and settles between his legs. They've been together long enough to know a few things about each other but Danneel always surprises him. This time, though, she's only sucking him off, and 'only' might be a little out of place because Danneel is really good. It's been two weeks since she was last here and he wants more than a blowjob, he needs skin on skin and kissing and her legs wrapped around his waist while he fucks her till she scratches his hide off.

What he gets is assplay. He almost laughs when she inserts The Finger; it is so predictable. They've done this before and it's not that he doesn't like it but it always makes him think of gay sex and for some reason when he thinks about naked men he thinks about Jared and it's uncomfortable. It's because of all the time they spend together, he's sure.

"You're distracted," Danneel chides.

Jensen looks down at her. She really does have a great body and he wants so bad to be inside that pussy, moving in the sweet heat.

"Come here?" he invites, but she has other plans.

"You need spanking," she says, arching her eyebrows.

"C'mon, baby, not tonight," Jensen pleads. He likes kinky sex - well at least with Danneel, because his other girls never went there, but tonight he wants something different.

"Okay," she says, but Jensen knows from her voice that she's not giving in to anything. "So, if not spanking then what? How about pegging?"

"What?" Jensen jumps up. "Are you out of your mind?"

Danneel blinks innocently. "Why? Because I want a piece of that gorgeous ass?"

"Danni, you're a girl, you don't have the equipment," Jensen tries to reason.

"Oh, but I do." Danneel's smile lights the room as she glances at a bag in the corner of the room. "C'mon, baby, I've always wanted to try this and besides, I've never heard you complaining when you were up my ass."

"No, no, no. No!" Jensen shakes his head. The worst part is when he looks down and realizes he's harder even than before.

"No," he repeats, firmly looking into her eyes.

She beams and bounces off the bed. "I knew you'd go for it."

Jensen drops back, lying splayed on the mattress. He sighs. "Well, whatever."

"Turn around, baby," Danneel orders as she straps things on.

Jensen doesn't want to look, doesn't want to turn. He's never done anything remotely like this. In fact, the only anal sex he's ever had was because Danneel convinced him to try.

"Danni... could we not...?"

Danneel stopped in her tracks, that huge, ridiculous thing sprouting from her hips. "I wouldn't push you into doing something that you really didn't want to, you know..."

Jensen is ready to call it quits but the look of disappointment in her face sways him over. "Okay, but be gentle," he says, half teasing, half serious. He turns, face down and settles on the bed. At least he'll gain a new one for his sexual curriculum, although certainly not one he's going to advertise. Ever.

* * *

They sleep late on Sunday. Danneel wants to go downtown to walk around a bit before leaving and they have brunch there. They don't talk about the sex apart from Danneel's brief 'Are you ok?' Jensen drives her to the airport, then drives around before getting back home, thinking about the things she whispered in his hear, about what they did, about the 666 ways he's fucked up. When he gets home, the lights are out and the dogs don't bark to greet him: Jared's out and that's all the better. Jensen takes a hot, hot shower, eats leftover pizza, drinks three beers, and falls asleep on the couch - the bed stinks of sex and he doesn't want to think about sex.

* * *

"What's up yours?" Jared asks.

It's Jensen's turn to drive and God, does he hate Monday morning traffic. "What?" he asks when he realizes Jared's spoken.

"What's up with you, man? You're kind of sulky, even for a Moanday."

"Oh, nothing," Jensen lies.

Jared nods so emphatically, Jensen sees the movement from the corner of his eye. "Uh, huh," Jared says. "Yep, moody is how I get after an earth-shattering shag. No wonder you're moody too."

"What are you talking about?" Jensen asks, omitting a 'dickhead' for the sake of friendship.

"All the moaning and screaming... was that my imagination?"

Jensen squints at the road. "I don't find that funny."

Jared lowers his head and stays silent for a while. "I'm sorry, man, that was just rude. I didn't mean to listen in and I shouldn't have mentioned something private."

Another awkward silence ensues. Jensen's still trying not to think but he's thinking so hard about everything that he's about to blow a fuse. He decides to patch things up before the day is tainted.

"I'm sorry, man, we should have been more considerate too. You don't have to listen to other people having sex. And I'm not normally like that..."

"That's okay," Jared says. "I like Danneel a lot," he adds, changing tone.

Jensen tries to play along. "Yeah, I like her too," he jokes.

"So, how serious is it getting?" Jared asks.

Jensen shrugs. "I don't know. I don't like leading people on, but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. And sometimes she says and does things and I'm not sure she's joking. But if she isn't, then she's not thinking long term, either."

"What kind of things?"

Jensen is embarrassed over his big mouth. "Man, I don't kiss and tell."

"Ah, sex stuff. You're so conservative you're a living disappointment to all the fangirls."

"Eh, pot, are you calling me black? You've only been with Sandy in all this time we've known each other."

Jared smiles sadly and doesn't say anything. "I like somebody and I'm pretty sure about it. That makes it hard to go around experimenting."

"Ah, so you wouldn't have taken Danneel's invitation for a threesome." Jensen slaps his forehead and Jared bursts out laughing.

"Mr. Gentleman, you don't kiss and tell. No shit, did she really think of that? A threesome? I like that girl more by the minute."

Jensen focuses on the driving, turns right to the parking lot and lets the moment slide. He really doesn't want to tell Jared the details, how that ever came up in conversation, just what he and Danneel were doing. Nope.

"So who's the mystery girl? And why haven't I met her?" Jensen asks as they leave the car.

Jared stops and stares at him. "Why do you assume it's a girl?"

"Isn't it? You actually manage to be more of a big Texan macho than me, at least off screen."

"One thing doesn't have to do with the other, you know. I may be kinda curious about guys and be masculine all the same. Look at Rock Hudson and Anderson Cooper."

"Yeah, except they weren't curious, they were really gay. Curious? What the hell kinda word is that, anyway?" Jensen starts walking towards the set and Jared follows him.

"So, if it's not a 'she' then it's a 'he', unless you've been taking deep walks to the wild side."

"Yeah, see you later." Jared walks to his trailer and leaves Jensen standing without an answer.

* * *

"Would you stop it already?" Jared's annoyed and that's not a common thing. Worse, he's annoyed at Jensen and Jensen doesn't really understand why.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"This!" Jared waves his free hand in the air. You've been watching me like a hawk for a week now. I feel like I'm under the microscope." He returns his eyes to the road just in time to avoid the bumper of the vehicle ahead of them.

"I wasn't watching you," Jensen says apologetically. He knows he was watching, he just thought he was being subtle.

"Right, you were just watching my stubble grow. C'mon, just say what you want to say and be done with it!"

Jensen drums his fingers on his thigh, rolls Dean's ring around, bites the skin around his thumbnail. "Okay. I was just trying to figure out who it is that you like... I was assuming it was someone in the crew. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Jensen, we work together, we live together, we drive together. We're so close we might as well get married. Don't you think I'm allowed to keep something to myself? I'm about regretting saying anything."

"Sorry, sorry!" Jensen holds his hands up, giving silent thanks for another narrowly scraped miss.

Jared takes several deep breaths, then, after a few minutes, turns the radio on. Jensen knows he's still annoyed when he tunes into Celine Dion. He doesn't deserve such a punishment.

"Sorry I yelled," Jared says. His voice is still strained, but when he asks about Danneel, Jensen jumps at the opportunity and launches into his chatty mode.

"She's coming this weekend. Says she has a surprise for me. I'm even afraid to ask. Hey, speaking of travelling weren't you going to go home this weekend?"

"Yeah, I was but I couldn't get a ticket."

Jensen relaxes. He can tell from Jared's tone that he's already let go of his anger. They chat all the way back home.

* * *

"Danneel!" Jared catches her in the air and swirls her around.

Jensen unloads Danneel's carryon as he watches, first amused that the two people he spends the most time with are such good friends, then worried. Jared has always liked Danneel. A lot. Why wouldn't he? She's smokin', she's smart, she's funny, and because of his big mouth, Jared also knows or at least suspects that she's kinky as they come. So maybe all that talk about liking someone he can't have... Maybe the part about it being a man was just a decoy... Jensen shrugs the thought off.

Jared made good on his promise and when they get in, he has dinner waiting for them. They are all starving so the first few minutes they eat in silence. Then Danneel starts telling LA gossip, Jared flirts with her shamelessly, Jensen punches him in the arm and makes fun of his gaffes on set, and before they know it, the food's all gone and they are piled on Jared's couch together, staring at the TV with bowls of ice-cream in their hands. Danneel puts her hand on Jared's thigh and lets it slip all the way up to his groin. She squeezes gently, all the while looking straight into Jensen's eyes.

"C'mon, we should go to bed," he says, trying to get up. The damned couch is too low and too soft and maybe that last bottle of wine didn't help that much, because before he can get up, Danneel is all over him, straddling him, kissing him in a way that's really not good for company.

Jensen tries to push her back but she's pressing him down hard and he doesn't want to hurt her.

"Danneel," he chides between kisses.

Jared clears his throat and makes to leave, but Danneel holds him by the wrist. "Stay."

"I really should get some sleep and leave you guys alone," Jared says. The look of sheer hunger in his face shocks Jensen.

"Danneel, we're being horrible guests. We should go downstairs," Jensen says, trying to make her move.

"I don't think so. The only place we should be going is to Jared's bed. Don't you see he needs a lullaby?"

"C'mon, Danneel," Jensen pleads. "This is starting to look like a bad porn flick."

Danneel pouts as petulantly as she can, then winks at Jared. "If you were that shocked you would have left by now."

Jensen is not sure who she means. Judging from Jared's wobbly step back, he isn't either, and the fact is that he stays in the room. Jensen finally finds the combination of strength and balance needed to lift himself off the couch, firmly pushing Danneel down.

She splays herself on the couch. "C'mon. We're all so drunk that tomorrow we can blame it on the booze or pretend nothing happened."

Jared seems to snap to his senses. "Right, we're blasted. I don't want you to do anything you'd regret."

"Bullshit, don't you patronize me, Jared." Danneel gets up, takes her top off and wanders into Jared's bedroom, pulling him by the hand. "Jensen, we're waiting for you," she calls, and Jensen follows.

He's been living in the ground floor of Jared's house for a few months now but he's never been in his bedroom. He doesn't take in any of the details. All he sees is Danneel half naked, trying to undress Jared, who is fighting her but with little conviction.

She gets his shirt off and there's something about the two of them together... Jensen pulls his shirt off too and goes to the bed, where he holds Danneel from behind. This is so wrong that he's already regretting it but he can't stop himself. When he reaches to cup Danneel's breasts, his arm brushes Jared's stomach. Jensen pushes his hips against Danneel's back, trying to tell himself that the shiver of pleasure had nothing to do with Jared.

Danneel moans, rubs herself against Jared and works his pants off, while Jensen does the same for her and then for himself. They're all naked, so close to one another that it would almost be easier to hold Jared instead of Danneel. The image makes Jensen cringe. He lets them go and lays back, thinking that he's not thinking straight, that he should go to his bed and forget this ever happened, but Danneel is all over him kissing him, riding him, and Jared's right behind her, his big hands cupping her breasts, then one slipping down, rubbing her clit. Jensen feels him against his legs, everything hard as steel in that body. Danneel has closed her eyes and all he sees are Jared's pinning him down with the weight of his stare.

One of Jared's hands is between him and Danneel. Jensen knows he's jerking off, jerking off while they stare, while Danneel rides him. He tries to look away but he can't. He clasps Danneel's thighs and pumps up as hard and fast as he can until he comes. His eyes are closed but Jared's face is carved into his lids like a ghost image.

Danneel moves over him a few times more but he's getting softer and he slips out of her. Jared slips in right after him and thrusts into her, his eyes closed and his hands searching her body for all the right spots. They are still straddling Jensen's thighs and he watches fascinated how they move above him. And yet the moment Danneel comes, he knows that they are done; it's been fun, she's been his best girlfriend, but it will be impossible to forget this.

Danneel falls forward over him and Jared thrusts into her a few more times before coming. He falls to the empty side of the bed and lies on his back by Jensen's side.

What's the protocol for a threesome? If Jensen had a million dollars, he'd give them for the answer to that question. He just wants out, out of the room, out of the house, of Jared's proximity, of Danneel's experiments, of his life. So ménages à trois are vastly overrated, so. So. He stares at the ceiling so hard he could swear new cracks are starting to show.

He knows Jared is looking at him, but he can't look back. Danneel has fallen asleep on top of him. Jensen gently pushes her to lie between them. Jared seems to be as uncertain as he is, but he gets up, turns the light off and returns to bed, draping a coverlet over them.

* * *

Jensen lies so tense that he thinks he won't be able to sleep but he does. When he wakes, Jared's alarm clock says it's three am. He gets up as quietly as he can, gathers his clothes and dresses outside Jared's bedroom before going downstairs to his home. Then he takes a long shower and goes to bed. He's tired but he can't sleep before the first rays of dawn seep through the blinds.

He wakes up aware of movement by the foot of the bed. Danneel is going through her carry-on, looking freshly showered. He pretends to be asleep.

By noon, Jensen knows he has to get up and face Danneel or forever consider himself a mouse. He throws the covers back, gets dressed and goes to the kitchenette. He can see Danneel curled up in the couch, but he can't tell if she's reading or sleeping. He makes brunch and goes to her.

"We have food," he announces, unsure of himself.

She smiles a small, sad smile. "Good."

Jensen watches the rare show that is Danneel moving her food around her plate.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, cursing himself for his blandness.

"Nope."

"Last night... I'm sorry, I should have stopped you..." he offers contritely.

"Jensen-" she briskly stops him.

She shoves a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth, and chews it like it's hard rubber. She has to take a gulp of orange juice to push it down. Jensen's lost all interest in his own food.

"Why did you do that?" Jensen finally asks. He doesn't realize that he's angry until the words are out.

"I thought it would be fun." Danneel doesn't even look up to him.

"You'll have to do better than that."

Danneel shakes her head. "I was a brat, alright, is that what you want to hear? I had been fantasizing about that since I first met Jared."

"So you want to be with him, is that it?" Jensen finds that the hot flush of jealousy suffusing him is not entirely related to Danneel. He gets up and goes to the sink to start the washing.

"No. I mean yes, but I think we both know I was just being a sort of a 'Tish' last night, cushioning things between the two of you."

Jensen throws a plate into the sink so hard it breaks. He has to grab the counter and breathes deeply several times, his forehead pressed against the cool cupboard. His body is still thrumming with rage when he manages to speak.

"Danneel, that was just a scene in a movie. This is real life and I'm no cardboard character."

He hears Danneel leaving the room. Fuck it, he was a fucking experiment. He had thought better of Danneel, until this moment. Bedroom play is one thing, but this, this was demeaning, degrading. Jensen washes his hands and is getting ready to leave the house when she comes back.

"Do you even know why Sandy left Jared?"

"You've never met Sandy."

"Sure I did. About a month ago, in LA. Life goes on without the two of you."

Jensen doesn't answer that. There's nothing to be said.

Danneel, however, has other ideas. "So, don't you want to know? He's your best _friend_ , hasn't he told you?"

Jensen looks away. The truth is that what Jared told him is exactly what he told the press, and Jensen knows Jared well enough to know it's not the whole truth.

"Sandy felt like an extra in their relationship. In her own words? 'He's already married to Jensen. I'm just the person he has sex with.'"

Jensen opens the door and walks outside. He really doesn't want to hear this.

"Jensen!" Danneel calls. "Jensen!"

Jensen looks back, waits for a minute. She can't do worse than she has already. To his surprise, her eyes are glistening.

"Do you think I wanted it to be this way? I wanted to be with you. Only with you. But I started feeling like Sandy. Our phone conversations were all about Jared and how awesome he is, and out weekends always had him in the middle. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but I think... I wanted to give you a goodbye gift but it went wrong. I didn't expect to feel this..."

Danneel turns and runs inside. Jensen wonders if he should go after her but he decides against. He needs to be alone right now. He walks around until it's four o'clock, then returns home. Danneel has her carry-on neatly packed by the door and is sitting in the couch, talking to Jared. They both stop when he goes in, and Jared stands awkwardly in the middle of Jensen's living room.

"I'd better go now." Danneel gets up and they hug and kiss goodbye. Seeing them one would think they are just good friends.

"Ready to go?" Jensen asks dryly. He's had time to let go of some of the anger but he's still not ready to be Danneel's best friend.

She nods. He notices her eyes are red-rimmed. They don't speak until they're midway to the airport.

"What you said..." Jensen starts. "You mentioned a goodbye gift. So you were going to breakup with me anyway?"

Danneel nods.

"Why?" Jensen can't understand. He tries his best to be an awesome boyfriend, he really does, and Danneel has never said anything...

"Whenever I thought of what could be our future, I couldn't think of anything. It was easier picturing you living with Jared than with me."

"Not that again," Jensen says irritably. In truth, if he thinks about it, she's kind of right and that's what irks him the most.

"You were great, Jen. It's just that your heart was not in it. Sorry, that's how I feel. Felt," she corrects herself.

Jensen shakes his head and sticks to silence. They reach the airport and exchange tense, sad goodbyes.

"Can I call you sometime?" Danneel asked. "Just to see how you're doing?"

"Sure," Jensen says. It's going to take him some time to swallow the pill down but he still likes Danneel and wants to keep her within some measure of friendship.

* * *

Jensen's tempted to avoid Jared. When he parks in the drive way, he can see that Jared's out back and in a normal day he'd join him without thinking twice but now... On the other hand, he's feeling confused and he needs to talk to someone and this is not a thing he can call Josh about.

He sits by Jared's side. "Hey."

"Hey," Jared replies. "I'm sorry," he adds after a few moments.

Jensen shrugs and curves forward, placing his elbows on his knees.

"Man, it's your girlfriend..." Jared insists.

"Not anymore..."

"Shit! Man, she was drunk, and you were there, it wasn't really cheating and I don't remember you giving it that much of a fight."

"It's not about that," Jensen all but sighs. "Besides, she broke up with me not the other way around."

"What?"

"Yeah. We're still friends. Sorta."

"Oh, man," Jared puts his hands to his face. "I'm so sorry. I screwed everything up."

Jensen puts his hand on Jared's shoulder then takes it off as if it burns. "It's okay. Really."

But it's not okay. The silence between them speaks volumes and Jensen wants to break it so badly, that he does the forbidden thing and talks about the show.

"Dean's driving me crazy. I love the guy but right now I don't know what he's thinking."

Jensen does love Dean and the show and he hates whining about things he loves, but this is actually true. Jared gives this low chuckle.

"You should try playing Sam."

"Well, at least Sam gets the good sex scenes." As soon as he says it, Jensen regrets it. The last thing he should bring to the conversation is sex.

Jared doesn't seem to mind it, though. "That's because Sam's made of awesome," he replies unflappable. "Hey, why don't you go get yourself a beer?" he suggests.

Jensen gets up and goes into the kitchen. He makes it as far as the fridge, then he stops. This is not the way he wants things to be, this tacit agreement on silence. He doesn't want to talk about the threesome but he needs to talk about something. He stares at the fridge, seeing in its place things that frankly terrify him, things such as Jared touching him, Jared leaning down to kiss him... he's never kissed a guy and his stomach knots painfully tight at the thought. He realizes it feels the exact same way as when he first had sex with a girl and it makes him kind of giddy.

"Hey, man, are you brewing the beer or what?" comes Jared's voice from the door.

Jensen snaps alert and turns to face him. "No, umm, just thinking."

"Must have been some kind of thought..." Jared walks to the fridge and takes out two beers.

"Here," he says, handing Jensen one.

Their hands brush and Jensen blurts a completely unprocessed thought.

"Did Danneel tell you we should be together, like a couple?"

Jared freezes for a second, then averts his eyes. "Something to that effect. She's quite smart..."

Jensen can't think of a thing to say until Jared excuses himself and walks to the door.

"I've never been with a man," he says, realizing he sounds kind of desperate. "Have you?"

Jared stops by the door. "Yes, before Sandy," he replies.

"Wow, man, that had to be like in high school..." Jensen feels dumber every time he opens his mouth but he can't stop himself.

Jared walks back in and sits in a stool near Jensen. "Yes, it was."

Jensen notices there are mud stains in the hems of Jared's jeans. He can't look higher. "This could ruin our careers. Not to mention our friendship..." he says, earning himself another mental kick.

"So you're actually considering it?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." Jensen puts his untouched beer down and dries his palms on his jeans. Jared's answer was too full of hope and he really doesn't know. He's behaving like some sort of virgin. It's stupid and well, just by talking about this they have gone so far that...

He leans to Jared and lands a dry one-second peck on his lips, then pulls back, his heart threatening a heart attack.

Jared swallows dryly, so hard that Jensen actually hears it. They're standing dangerously close but when Jensen steps back, Jared steps down from the stool and places his hands on Jensen's arms.

"That's not enough," he says, and he gets closer, so close that Jensen can feel his body heat, and then they are pressing together and Jared's kissing Jensen so warm and so deep...

A part of Jensen watches him wrapping his arms around Jared and holding him tight, watches, surprised, how they meld, how his knees wobble just a little, how Jared holds him upright. Jared breaks the kiss, trails Jensen's jaw up to his ear and whispers, "Stop thinking."

Jensen wants to. He can't remember the last time a kiss felt like that. Instead of kissing Jared again he draws away.

"Wow, that was intense," he says. He knows he's being a jerk, especially when Jared tries to make eye contact and he looks away. "I should get going. Tomorrow is a work day..."

Jared looks hurt and Jensen kicks himself. He hates cowards, he really does, even if it's himself. He can't stand the look of disappointment in Jared's face.

"I'm a jerk," he says and before Jared can say what he was going to say, Jensen covers his mouth, holds him tight and walks them to the counter, pressing Jared against the tiles.

"You are," Jared eventually confirms. The stupid puppy smile in his lips leaves no margin of doubt: Jensen _is_ jerk but Jared forgives him.

"Wanna..." Jared points in the direction of his room with his head.

"Jesus!" Jensen feels out of breath all of a sudden. "I'm still getting used to making out with a guy, okay?"

Jared laughs. "Okay, I was just teasing anyway." He gets serious and gently pushes Jensen away. "Slow is fine, you know. I've waited for a long time. I can wait some more."

Jensen laughs. "You make me sound like a delicate princess - frankly, I resent that!"

Jared laughs too. "So sex or no sex, that is the question."

"You're my friend! You shouldn't be taking advantage of me being on the rebound!"

Jared snorts. "Sure you are. So, see you tomorrow?"

Jensen knows he should really go now. "I want to make out on the couch just a little."

Jared laughs and drags Jensen to the couch in two heartbeats. They settle, awkwardly elbowing each other, until they kiss again.

"So?" Jared eventually asks.

"It's not so bad, except that you're always trying to take the lead." Jensen knows his idiotic smile adds an 'and I actually like that,' to the sentence.

Jared kisses him again. "Is that better?"

"Mmm, yes, yes," Jensen tries to kiss him again but Jared pulls back.

"Like that?"

"Yes," Jensen breathes. He knows he should be wallowing in self pity over Danneel or he should be busy trying not to think on how he just had a threesome with his girlfriend and his best friend, or he should be shocked out of his wits at the notion that he's gay or at least gay for Jared because he's never thought of that, okay, maybe wondered one time or another but nothing like this and-

"You're thinking too much again," Jared warns him. "I may have to spank you."

"Eh, I'm done with experimental sex," Jensen replies all too fast.

"Aww, so that means what, for us?"

An image of Danneel pegging him crosses Jensen's mind but there's no way he's going to tell Jared that he's experimented in that department. "Well, okay, some experimentation, but no spanking or anything too kinky," he concedes.

"You drive a hard bargain." Jared kisses him again and nuzzles against his neck. "And if I'm a really good boy, do I get a reward?"

Jensen snorts. Just his luck, he decides to swap teams and he gets another kinky one. At least Jared's just into talking, for now. "Well, maybe," Jensen teases, trying to ignore Jared's hand on his fly. Maybe just making out isn't such a good idea anyway. "Depends on what you want..."

Jared takes him into his hand and starts working him, his grip firmer than any girl's, but with a slow, lazy pace. He kisses Jensen's neck, nips a little just below the collar line, rubs his face against Jensen's stubble. Jensen wonders if he should reciprocate. He wants to touch Jared but he's not sure he can or knows how. Jared doesn't give him much of a chance, either. He kneels on the floor, between Jensen's legs and takes him into his mouth. He does his thing, takes Jensen so deep, Jensen thinks he's going to suffocate, and once in a while he looks up with eyes so laden with things Jensen can't name just yet.

Jensen comes too fast. He pushes Jared off just in time and finishes himself off with his hand. Jared settles by his side and cuddles. Jensen wants to say something about not being always this fast but saying it will only make his embarrassment worse. He doesn't know if he should kiss Jared or not. He hates feeling like he's in high school again.

"So, was I a good boy?" Jared asks.

Jensen chuckles, happy to have a ready escape. "Yes. What would you like as a reward?"

Jared thinks for a few seconds. "Wear your glasses at least around the house. You might get a lot more of these if you do."

Jensen ponders for a bit. Jared's talking as if this was going to happen often, as if they are in a relationship already and Jensen isn't sure about that. He likes Jared, or given what he's been feeling he more than 'likes' but he doesn't want to name things or make implicit promises, or let Jared down. He should come clean with his doubts just about now, unless he wants another relationship blowing up in his face. And Jared's so impulsive, who's to tell this isn't just a-

"You're doing it again," Jared chides. "Just stop _thinking!_ It's driving me crazy."

Jensen laughs. "Sorry. Yup, I may consider wearing those glasses. Maybe. Well, Jared, we need to talk."

"We don't. We need to go to sleep. It's past midnight and tomorrow's going to be a nightmare."

"Okay." Jensen tucks himself in and does his fly up. "Don't you want me to..." he points at Jared's groin.

Jared shrugs. "I don't think you're ready yet."

There it is again, Jared's really thinking that this is going somewhere. And if it were? Jensen can almost see himself blowing Jared off. And Lord knows that in that night with Danneel he thought of a lot more than blowjobs.

"But-" he starts, earning himself an exasperated sigh from Jared.

"I'll take care of it, don't worry," Jared says, brushing him off.

Jensen can certainly imagine that. He ignores the tingle in his dick.

"Okay." He knows when he's out of his dept and mostly, when he's defeated. Jared knows him better than he does himself. He gets up and clasps Jared's shoulder before heading to his apartment. "See you tomorrow, then," he says. "I'll wear the glasses," he adds with a wink. The contacts are plain uncomfortable anyway.

 

_Finis  
December 2008_


End file.
